Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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