Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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