Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
