She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
