come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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