shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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