covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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