shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I wish you could order shots online.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
