I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
