She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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