Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
