You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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