Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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