their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
