Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize