you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
