Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
