You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
