I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize