Where did you get a picture of my penis
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
