So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm just crazy horny about you
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize