quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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