Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
