Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
