Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
