I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
