where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
the gays at disneyland are vicious
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
