told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Hippo gnu deer
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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