Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
