exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
