I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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