i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
