I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
wat bout pragnant strippers??
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
