he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
