He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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