Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
You can't motorboat a personality
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
