Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
