I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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