Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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