What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
