i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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