drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
