remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
