I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
