I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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