My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
