the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
