MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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