Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
