O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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