Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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