I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
