no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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