They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize