So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
she looked like the before picture.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
