new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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