Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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