I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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