awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
