Non-Jews are for practice
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
