You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
