And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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