too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
